Hi Will! I want to start by saying that your service is essential, given the current circumstances. Both you and I's service are efforts to help people given the recent events, but also we must look for opportunities beyond the pandemic in the future. Knowing that this is the pitch to the problem you are solving, are you going to have a team to assist you in the process. I would also like you to incorporate the use of "We" when you are proposing the pitch because it enables comfort in the listener's perspective. I hope you found my feedback helpful.
I think this is a great idea and would definitely help many businesses that are struggling through this difficult time right now and could also stay relevant in the future by helping many businesses change to the 21st century version of themself. While listening to the pitch, I heard many facts and figures and very little about how you were going to fix the problem. I think in the future, if you could talk about the amount of people (or the team) that would be working with you, how you are going to make money, and some examples of stores that do not have online presences, the message would be more relatable to the listener. I really hope this advice is helpful to you!
I agree with Ashley that you were statistic heavy but light on the details of the unique nature of the service you will provide. I would also like to give you a few helpful hints for your presentation. First- if you are recording from your computer- try placing it on an elevated surface so that you are not looking down at it. And always remember to look at the camera, not the screen. When I first started making videos I always looked at the screen instead of the camera....I broke the habit by placing paper over the screen to block it- this made me look at the camera (establish eye contact with your audience). Second- it seemed like you knew your material pretty well- but there was a certain lack of excitement or engagement with your topic. Rehearse, rehearse, rehearse- highlight parts of your script that you want to emphasize and practice giving them more inflection. Third- turn the fan off- it's distracting and affects the lighting of your video. If you would like any additional feedback or help with future videos, please comment on my blog and I would be happy to help.
You did a great job focusing on the facts in the beginning, so even someone who knew nothing of the current state of businesses could understand. Your service would save several local business and also keep the local economy stimulated. I could see you taking this idea beyond the state of Florida, as many other states are not as open as we are. The only constructive feedback I have is that you might have spent a little too much time describing the problem rather than the solution, but that is just minor!
Hi Will! I want to start by saying that your service is essential, given the current circumstances. Both you and I's service are efforts to help people given the recent events, but also we must look for opportunities beyond the pandemic in the future. Knowing that this is the pitch to the problem you are solving, are you going to have a team to assist you in the process. I would also like you to incorporate the use of "We" when you are proposing the pitch because it enables comfort in the listener's perspective. I hope you found my feedback helpful.
ReplyDeleteHi Will,
ReplyDeleteI think this is a great idea and would definitely help many businesses that are struggling through this difficult time right now and could also stay relevant in the future by helping many businesses change to the 21st century version of themself. While listening to the pitch, I heard many facts and figures and very little about how you were going to fix the problem. I think in the future, if you could talk about the amount of people (or the team) that would be working with you, how you are going to make money, and some examples of stores that do not have online presences, the message would be more relatable to the listener. I really hope this advice is helpful to you!
Hi Will,
ReplyDeleteI agree with Ashley that you were statistic heavy but light on the details of the unique nature of the service you will provide. I would also like to give you a few helpful hints for your presentation. First- if you are recording from your computer- try placing it on an elevated surface so that you are not looking down at it. And always remember to look at the camera, not the screen. When I first started making videos I always looked at the screen instead of the camera....I broke the habit by placing paper over the screen to block it- this made me look at the camera (establish eye contact with your audience). Second- it seemed like you knew your material pretty well- but there was a certain lack of excitement or engagement with your topic. Rehearse, rehearse, rehearse- highlight parts of your script that you want to emphasize and practice giving them more inflection. Third- turn the fan off- it's distracting and affects the lighting of your video. If you would like any additional feedback or help with future videos, please comment on my blog and I would be happy to help.
Hello Will,
ReplyDeleteYou did a great job focusing on the facts in the beginning, so even someone who knew nothing of the current state of businesses could understand. Your service would save several local business and also keep the local economy stimulated. I could see you taking this idea beyond the state of Florida, as many other states are not as open as we are. The only constructive feedback I have is that you might have spent a little too much time describing the problem rather than the solution, but that is just minor!
Best,
Lily